Monday, 17 March 2014

Tips and tricks to become antisocial

Hey guys how's it going? 

Are you thinking about becoming antisocial? Maybe society really pushes your buttons, maybe you're testing out alternative lifestyles, maybe you just need a break from the annoying people around you. Whatever it is, I'm here to help. 
Over the years, I've slowly converted to the antisocial hermit that I am, but believe me, it took practice and commitment. After years of perfecting my techniques, I think I've finally got it! So here we go! 

1) Stop using Facebook. It will tempt you to socialize. Switch to twitter and tumblr. 

This will help your craving for social media, but stop you from talking to people you may know. Follow a bunch of celebrities and obsess over their lives instead of yours. 

2) Take a long time to reply to your texts. This will frustrate whoever's talking to you, and they will eventually give up. It is important to not ignore them altogether, or they will know you don't want to talk to them. This way, they think they're choosing not to talk to you. 

3) Get Netflix. 

Keep in mind, if you're not in this for the long run, only sign up for the free trial, though, I cannot guarantee that you won't get hooked. Netflix is deadly and there is no known cure for this addiction. So sign up at your own risk. 

4) Start a YouTube channel. 

(This step is only for the committed.)

Make videos, and stay up late editing them, repeat. You will soon become sleep deprived. Once this happens, congratulations! You have completed the transition! You are now antisocial! It was a long journey getting to where you are now, but be proud! You did it! 

Enjoy the long nights of surfing tumblr, the awkward conversations with the people you do still interact with, and the peace and quiet. Welcome to my life! Enjoy it! 

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